Daniel is captured and will be sold at an upcoming market unless the rest of SG-1 can rescue him in time. And that so completely fails to describe anything important about this story, which is sort of slow and drowsy and not at all an action story.

Sam and Vala and some pornographic etchings.

“Samantha Carter, I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.”

I think my favourite thing about his is John’s thoughts about Carter.

Or maybe about Mitchell’s hair.

Something else I like about SG-1 is the relationship between Vala and Teal’c. They have good chemistry.

“I see why you like this one so much,” Vala says as Teal’c removes the DVD from the player and inserts “Empire.” “A band of rebels against the evil overlords, a man joining forces with unlikely allies to overcome great odds…”

Teal’c knows her childish antics hide a calculating mind, but he still does not expect her to see through him quite so easily. “I enjoy the space battles.”

Daniel and his wife visit Atlantis. Is the Pegasus galaxy ready for Vala? Not hardly.

“I don’t know if I envy Jackson or feel sorry for him,” Baker said.

“She’s a heck of a woman, but a little too high maintenance for my tastes,” Lorne said.

Teyla paused. “Has Doctor Jackson arrived?”

“Jackson, Vala, and Imelda Marcos’ shoe collection.”

“Imelda Marcos had a lot of shoes,” Lorne explained, just in case Teyla had forgotten her ability to infer.

I really, really like stories from Teyla’s point of view, so of course I would like one the that shows her take on my favourite SG-1 character.

Set sometime before or during Beachhead. Vala’s a little miffed that she’s been “replaced” by Carter, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to get to know Sam better:

Vala interrupted her, “That’s very interesting, I’m sure, Colonel. But you sound like a guidebook. Why don’t you try personal things?”

“Like?” The colonel took another bite of her salad and chewed, blue eyes pinioning Vala.

“Well, are you a screamer?”

The colonel choked a bit, cheeks flushing.

Vala grinned, “Or is that a bit too personal?”

One of my favourite things about SG-1 was that they made Sam and Vala friends (apparently at the request of Amanda Tapping and Claudia Black). Two of my favourite scenes are the hug at the end of Roads Not Taken and the return from the shopping trip in Family Ties. That said, Vala’s attitude in this story is perfectly understandable, and very in-character.

Sam takes Vala to a biker bar.

Sam stays over at Vala’s.

Sam explains phone sex to Vala.

SG-1 is in jail, and they need a distraction to escape. Vala has a bright idea.

“Don’t worry.” A remarkably pink tongue spread moisture over full lips. “This is guaranteed. There isn’t a man in the universe who wouldn’t be riveted.”