A crossover of Nero Wolfe and House may sound strange at first, but it works amazingly well, as this story proves.

Wilson is accused of murder, and House hires New York’s best private detective to find the truth. Hwshipper does a good job of bringing Wolfe and Archie into the 21st century while keeping the fundamentals intact.

“I’ll google Dr. House, shall I?” I asked innocently.

Wolfe glared at me. “Don’t goad me, Archie. You know perfectly well that word is not a verb in this house.”

Whatever excuses I may have for recommending Pharaohs on top of all the other times I’ve rec’d Parhelion on this site, none of them apply to this story. My only explanation is that it’s just that good.

I kinda promised myself not to recommend any more of Parhelion’s stuff, because I have a kind of unofficial rule about not recommending too many of one author’s stories in a single fandom, but this story was too good to pass up. And it’s Archie/Saul, whereas Parhelion always writes Nero/Archie, and it’s the first new Nero Wolfe fic she’s written in a long time, so…enjoy.

I love this. Just a drabble, but the closing line is so very in-character.

An AU where Wolfe and Archie meet while they’re working for a circus in the late 20′s.

I slid down the side window, took a good look, and then looked again. It was a necessary effort. “Holy smokes. Who built that?”

It was like nothing I’d ever seen in my home town. The garden was jam-packed with leafy trees, fuzzy trees, fronded trees, and huge masses of cascading shrubs that I would later learn to call bougainvillea, hibiscus, and jasmine. The house was crazier than the garden. Too much was going on in too small a space. All in all, the place seemed to have been designed for Zorro by Maxfield Parrish after his fourth or fifth shot of bad hooch in a speakeasy just outside of Baghdad.

I think my jaw dropped.

Parhelion introduces the paranormal to the brownstone. Good like everything she writes. Unfortunately unfinished; it’s at 15 chapters right now and I don’t know if it’s still being updated or not. Oh, and don’t worry too much about the character death.

And don’t read this at night if you’re home alone and scare easily. Chapter 2 is especially creepy.

Nero and Archie go to Alexandria to see a man about a book.

Can I say again how beautifully Parhelion does Archie? Archie and Wolfe have such distinct speech patterns, and getting them right is what separates the mediocre authors from the really good ones in this fandom.

I asked Sam, “So, what made you peg me as being, you know?” Maybe I could change my tailor.

He snorted. “Stop, look, and listen. You notice more about a guy than how his cojones compare to yours. You check out everyone, not just the females. And you never, ever, shut up about Mr. Wilkins. Hell, I though I was bad about my Juanito.”

Well, I couldn’t explain to him how being a detective makes you look at people. But, I didn’t want to hear about Juanito, either. “Was that it?”

“Aside from the deadly Ds: dress, dancing, dining etiquette, and Dorothy Parker as your scriptwriter. You got ‘em all, son. Good thing for you that you’re such a tough guy, or we’d need a barnacle scraper to get the chorus boys off of you.”

“Ah, nuts.” I had another beer. It was that kind of a trip.

Archie and Wolfe undercover in La-La Land. Wolfe spends his days cooking and Archie runs errands for him all over Southern California.

Saul needs Wolfe and Archie to help him with a problem.

To Archie Goodwin, this may be the most important story about Saul Panzer, although Archie’s never heard it.

Parhelion captures Archie’s voice perfectly, and the Saul POV scenes are great, too.

Apparently Express is something of a sequel.

I really love Parhelion’s writing. I’ve been meaning to rec her (his?) Nero Wolfe fanfic for a while, but I haven’t been able to choose which ones to rec. This story could be classified as gen, het or slash.

“…The level of culinary competition will end up being such that Archie would have to show up in person and without a shirt to retrieve your full attention.”

A fork full of food paused on its way to Wolfe’s lips. He looked at it for a long moment, and then set his fork back down on his plate with some care. “Miss Rowan. Please understand that I correct you only because you are laboring under a misapprehension I find particularly irritating, and the two of us need to work together.” He laced his fingers. “By my count, that was the fourth time today you have implied Archie and I are physically intimate. We are not.”

She didn’t try to control her expression of skepticism. “Mr. Wolfe. Given the circles I move in, I recognize what I’m seeing when I look at you. And I, of all women, have reason to know you’re no priest. Archie’s never provided me with any details, but he doesn’t tell tales out of school. It’s one of his great charms.”

Archie and Lily Rowan are on vacation in the Caribbean when Archie disappears. Lily calls Wolfe. Parhelion does her usual fabulous job with Archie and Wolfe’s thoughts and dialogue, as well as doing the same with Lily Rowan.